What’s the difference between the English and the Welsh?

This guy more or less sums it up, with the omission of two of my favourite Wenglish words: “hellish” and of course “cwtch”.

Comedy nights in SF: Arabs Gone Wild

I love a comedy club, but they’re only as good as the comedians up on stage–which for me meant not so great for the first trip I took to Cobb’s comedy club on Columbus St, SF a few months back (I saw Jeff Garlin of Curb Your Enthusiasm who presumed that he was too famous to need to prepare any actual jokes, and instead tried to dine out on stories about Larry David and crude but unfunny answers to questions posed by the audience).

Of course that didn’t put me off when the opportunity arose to see Arabs Gone Wild last night at Cobb’s. Sammy KO, a local (but half Lebanese) comic supporting the the tour, was a highlight (“My European friend is always trying to make me feel ignorant, because I’m American. Don’t know which country he’s from, but…”).

California road trip

My first Independence Day weekend (ignorant Brit that I am, I was pleasantly surprised to realise I had a long holiday weekend) I took my first Cali road trip down south from San Francisco.

It’s a road well travelled (notice how I’m still refusing to bow to American spelling conventions in any place apart from work email …) and there’s a good reason for that. If you only have one day, or a whole week to meander down the Cali coast, this road trip is for you. So here are the highlights, and Im always interested in hearing about bits I can add to this from other adventurers having tried versions of this three times now (thrice!) and recommended it to countless people (fourth trip due this coming weekend )

From San Francisco, take the highway 1 down towards Pacifica and Half Moon Bay. Depending on time you can stop at either or both of the beaches here, but  parking can be a problem (my friend thought I was taking him on a car park tour for the first 2 hours of the last trip).

First longer stop is Santa Cruz. Here you should check out the boardwalk which is home to the familiar wooden rollercoasters that were will bring back the pre-teen nostalgia of Lost Boys (ah, just me?!)

If you’re feeling adventurous and have a bit of time to detour inland for a bit, you could try the Mystery Spot (loving their trippy website entry screen). I’ve heard mixed reports about this one so I guess I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and go there myself next time I’m down that way. For 5 bucks a visit, it’s not going to break the bank and then at least I’ll know!

For a day round trip, you could take the coastal road to via Monterey to Carmel and Big Sur and back. It’s a day of driving with a few good breaks (and you can always cut time by taking the freeway back some of the way), or 2 or more slower days with some sights to look out for further down the coast if you’re more of a wandering soul – Hearst Castle and some of the beaches and state parks of Big Sur like Pfeiffer Beach, for example. And don’t miss the eye-blistering sight of the Madonna Inn, a bit past Big Sur, towards San Luis Obispo Bay (another pretty place to stop for a while).

Back to Monterey: the wharf reminded me a lot of Fisherman’s Wharf in SF – a few restaurants, shops and Irish bars, not much new to see here except the aquarium. The aquarium gets a great deal of good press so I had high expectations but after paying the steep entry fee of USD 30 was left a little disappointed (blame today’s jaded culture of always expecting the X-factor which I’ve obviously succumbed to). There was one cute area where kids could play around with sea cucumbers, starfish and friendly rays and the jellyfish lounge was spectacular, but I wouldn’t spend much longer than an hour here unless you have an insane interest in all things fishy or have some road-trip-fatigued kids you ned to pacify. It’s set in a beautiful spot of town though if you don’t mind walking past all the touristy trappings that lead up to it.

The 17-mile drive around Pebble Beach, Carmel was the highlight of the last trip for sure. Driving slowly through vista points like the Restless Sea and Lone Cypress on an early September morning is what sticks in memory. And it’s interesting peeking through the trees and bushels that cleverly shelter home after decadent home in this sheltered hideaway in plain tourist view where Clint Eastwood was once mayor (and no-one’s going to let them forget that, most tourists probably flock here harbouring a secret desire of catching a glimpse of Clint in his deckchair).

For a more fast-paced trip where you can squeeze in many sights and many more miles in around a week, you could continue this drive down to Santa Barbara, Los Angeles (the Universal Studios tour is wickedly awesome and well worth the 70-or-so-bucks entry fee to the theme park – really – and get your pic taken somewhere near the Hollywood sign, although the closest you can get is still miles away), San Diego (check out the zoo, well known for its efforts in conservation and preserving the animals natural habitats and PANDAS!!!!, best I’ve visited but I’m a bit stumped for other recommendations here), and Las Vegas (no recommendations needed here. If you can’t find your thing in Vegas, then it doesn’t exist anywhere).

For those who prefer getting back to nature, drive through the Mojave desert and visit the Joshua Tree national park at TwentyNine Palms, where U2 took inspiration for their 1987 album of the same name. It’s the most peaceful place I’ve ever been to in the world so far. Although I didn’t make Death Valley and Yosemite – yet. That’s something to look forward to on many road trips to come, I hope …

Michael Pollan’s Food Rules

Reasons to love my workplace, #73: today we had a talk and Q&A with Michael Pollan, investigative journalist heavily featured in Food Inc and author of The Omnivore’s Dilemma. He came to talk to us about his new book Food Rules, or according to his talk today, The Omnivore’s Solution.

He’s a vibrant and interesting speaker without being preachy about food principles, and there’s way too much content to list here but his key mantra was: Eat food*. Not too much. Mostly plants.

* By food, he means “real” food and not the processed edible food replacements he produced from grocery bags when kicking off the talk following an earlier trip to Safeway.

He also spoke at length about the “Western diet”, pointing out what an extraordinary achievement it is that as a civilization we’ve managed to develop a diet which is responsible for making us sick (in the US obesity, most cases of heart disease and 30–40% of cancer can be directly traced back to diet).

My main takeaway was this: when you think you’re hungry, ask yourself if you’re hungry enough to eat an apple – otherwise you’re probably not really hungry. And if you are – eat an apple!

SF by night

Bob’s is dead, long live Bob’s …

It was with sadness and a slight pang of regret that I noticed on returning from my recent Europe trip that in the 3 weeks I’d been away, Bob’s diner on Polk St has closed down. I wonder what devastating event had happened in that short time to cause this result.

Sadness, because I look back fondly at those 3am food adventures we had after some heavy work checking out the local musical talent in SF clubs; regret because I never had my last supper there and also friend of mine never achieved her questionable ambition of becoming the foursquare Mayor of Bob’s. Wondering what happens to all of my past checkins now. I guess they go to the big checkin in the sky – no bad thing, as I always felt it was a bit naff that my first ever foursquare checkin was at 2:30am at Bob’s. Sigh.

My first SF earthquake

This morning at 7:47am, as I was debating whether to get the late or super-late bus after a bit of a late one with LTJ Bukem at the Independent last night (awesome), my decision to jump out of bed was made for me as my apartment shook me out instead.

As long as they stay at around 3.5, I can handle that as a “feature” of my new city!

Pet airport peeves

At the risk of sounding like a massive ball of negative energy, better known as a whinging Pom, I’m going to try and make this my last post complaining about stuff for a while. But being a Brit I just love a good moan!

So … Airports! Am I the only person who gets irritated when everyone runs from the plane to take up immediate residence in the closest humanly possible proximity to the very edge of the baggage carousel? Yes, because maybe if you stand millimetres away and will your luggage to come, it will be the first out–not! Seriously people, 9 times out of 10 I will asking you to get the hell out of the way so I can retrieve my case from the carousel, while yours doesn’t arrive for another 10 minutes. Chill and hang back, or at least leave your bloody luggage cart out of the way. Hmph.

Also, I had the misfortune of sitting behind the only person on a recent flight who omitted to put their seat back for landing. I tried not to let it bother me (I really did), because it was still just about possible to read my newspaper without it being too far in my face. But it just seemed so damn inconsiderate (I mean really, is this your first ever flight? I don’t think so, judging by your ill-fitting business suit).

Actually, this reminds me of the thing that really annoys me the most (and therefore is probably the most OCD of them all). When I get up from my seat during flights, I always take care to use my own seat as leverage rather than grabbing and yanking the poor person in front who is probably trying to sleep or at least relax and make the best of the fact they’re stuck on a plane. But no one else EVER seems to do this. No. Instead they yank at my seat back, usually taking a handful of hair with them as they go. So from this I’m concluding that I am the only considerate person left, at least in economy class.

I really want to complain about something else now I’m on a roll, but don’t worry I’m going to can it. Here’s to a positive cwtchable, for the forseeable at least …

Pet Peeves

I just saw the straw that broke the camel’s back. Actually that’s a bit dramatic. But I was mindlessly daydreaming earlier about some pet hates I’ve developed since moving stateside (what a pleasant way to pass one’s time, no?) and the latest horror (read: mild annoyance) I witnessed made me want to record these unpleasant things for posterity. Maybe because in a few year’s time after plenty more Pilates, wheatgrass shots and general Zen I will laugh at these trifling things that used to bother me. Either that, or I’ll cry because I have much bigger problems by then.

These are all related to work colleagues, which is unfortunate but probably down to the fact that I currently spend a slightly unhealthy length of time at the office. It’s probably the behaviours rather than the people that I actually take offense to, but I can’t help feeling that when people act a certain way it says a lot about their personality – which is who they are, innit? At least, that what I learned in Psychology 101.

Before the list, I have to explain a few things. My esteemed employer is generous enough to provide pushbikes so that we can quickly and easily travel between campus buildings, all sorts of free food for lunch and dinner, and a free gym with some awesome classes. I’m starting to think that some of these benefits are being taken for granted …

1. People leaving pushbikes outside work grounds: I usually plan to ride the bikes when running from a meeting in one building to another, so of course this means that I leave around 1.5 minutes to actually get half a mile to my destination. Well ok, maybe slight exaggeration, but it winds me up when I’m desperately running around like a headless chicken trying to find a spare bike, only to have to run and be late instead. And then later, I’ll find two or three bikes in the middle of nowhere outside the campus, ready for some hobo to jump on and try his luck on the 101 to Frisco. Grrr!
2. Said bikes strewn down on the floor: This is exactly what just made my blood boil. This whippersnapper, on seeing the shuttle bus that transports us from the office back home to the city (yet another free perk) literally jumps off the bike and dumps it sideways, leaving it still spinning mid air until it crashes on the floor, without so much as a backwards glance. I see this a lot. No wonder half the flippin’ chains are broken on these deathtraps (not really, I love them. Just that there was an ‘incident’ earlier this week where a bike chain tried to eat my trouser leg, and I’m not really sure who won the fight).
3. People piling excessive mounds of food on their plate that they probably won’t even eat: So I get out of the gym and head for some food, and the smell of pizza captures me. Only there’s no veggie options left so I hang around and patiently wait for a bit. Then this cheeky so-and-so elbows his way in with not one but TWO takeaway boxes, and proceeds to fill ‘em up with the only veggie pizza, fresh out of the oven. I literally could not believe my eyes as this freeloader shovels slice after slice into his packed lunch, without a sideways glance at the hoards of poor starving workers waiting for him to finish. I mean come on, this would even make the Dalai Lama himself ever so slightly perplexed, I reckon. After all, there were a bunch of meat pizzas there too, but Mr Takeout only had eyes for my margherita.
4. People turning up noisily late to yoga class (see, I am *trying* in the face of failure to promote calmness in my life, it’s not all my fault): If a class starts at 5.30pm, then come at 5.30pm. If you can only make it at 5.39pm when the peaceful yoga-ites are getting into the zone of a state of blissful controlled breathing with our eyes shut and trying in vain to find our happy places – just cos we can’t see you we can DEFINITELY still hear you crashing in with your yoga mat flying one way and foam roller the other.

Maybe I need to chill out a bit, it’s clearly misguided to be angry whilst in the throes of yoga. Or alternatively, I could take a leaf out of Anton Chigurh‘s book.

My top 5 (+) SF places so far

I reckon a month or so is long enough to have a reasonable opinion on some Good Places To Go in the big city of San Francisco.

1. Mezzanine: grungy electro club, small but perfectly formed, no pretentiousness and lots of fun. Good for local and global DJs, who all seem to enjoy playing out here judging by the shapes they throw behind the decks!
2. The Crepe House: loving it, mostly because there’s one right on my local corner. Awesome sweet & savoury crepes any time of day and my place of choice for takeaway tea!
3. Thai Spice: decent spicy Thai food, and again I’m a fan because it’s close – there are also some great places on Fillmore, but this one is local, cheap, friendly, tasty and fast!
4. Rex Cafe: brunch is my favourite meal of the week, so finding the ultimate brunch spot is an ongoing mission. This place is on Polk St (notice a trend here? ) and is a nice chilled venue, decor is colonial style, all high ceilings and dark bold colours. Great food but portions big enough to share, which cuts on costs!
5. Foreign Cinema: being in the Mission, this is a bit of a schlepp for me, but well worth it. It’s not a weekly option as it’s a bit pricey, but the food is good and the breakfast cocktails are fabulous (one menu dedicated to bloody mary options and some delicious champagne cocktails make it a great start to any weekend!).

Notable mentions: Zeitgeist (funny how this is under the “divebar” category in Yelp! Great for lazy weekend chilling in the sun as it has a large beer garden out back, and watch out for the legendary Tamale Lady, a local hero who you can also follow on Twitter); Kozy Kar (also apparently a divebar. Guess this means something different here, although maybe not. Go here for unique decor – seating made up of old vehicles, PBR and the occasional random porn flashback on the video screens).

• See the map of all these awesome places

Relocation relocation …

The Box leaving my Swiss apartment, mid-blizzard

I thought I’d rant talk about my experience wrt shipping stuff to the US, for those who might find my painful anecdotes useful. If you never have to ship anything from one country to another stop reading now because otherwise this is kinda wearisome.

The move:

• All or some of the contents of a 3.5 room Zurich apartment (forgive the sometimes confusing Swiss property terminology which seems to have stuck with me, this generally means 2 bedroom and large lounge/dining room) to San Francisco.

The options:

1. “Enterprise solution”: Use a global end-to-end relocation ‘partner’ = USD 14k
2. “On the cheap”: Do it yourself = TBC, but it’s looking like just under USD 5.5k

So, option 2 is looking attractive at this point. Given that I’d already experienced a 3.5 room apartment move from London to Zurich a couple of years previously an aforesaid relocation partner, I decided that this was already a time and effort commitment so I may as well go it alone this time (if go it alone means working with what can largely be described as a retired relocation hobbyist who is at best unresponsive and at worst persistently complains about the work they are doing on your behalf. Oh yes, moving day was fun).

Lessons learned (note that with the “Enterprise Solution” none of the below was a consideration):

1. Make sure you get the full contact details of the shipping company at the departure and arrival port and contact them as soon as you arrive at your destination country. I had all these details but for a week and a half they couldn’t find any details on me or my shipment, so not really sure what I could have done differently here, but at least the shippers had my new US number when they eventually found the box. My shipment also took an unscheduled detour via L.A. and was x-ray scanned for the pleasure of an extra 30 bucks expense, nice.
2. Check with the receiving shipping company about payments & documents they need before they’ll release your cargo. On this side, I’m dealing with 4 other companies (receiving shipper, importer, warehouse and movers) and US customs (see next point). This is specific to your arrival country of course, and each of these entities will charge you extra fees–and they mostly have very precise requirements about how they can receive payment (i.e. usually money order or cashier’s cheque). I’d recommend also to use Express postage when sending payment in the US because first-class mail = first-class fail.
3. Find out about the precise customs requirements at your arrival port. This is different per port. At Oakland, they need your passport, shipper’s bill of lading (supplied by the importer), arrival notice (importer), full inventory list of items shipped (usually created by you at time of packing) and form 3461 (informal release document, only available from the warehouse at a discretionary arbitrary cost). You’ll need to clear customs before you can collect your cargo.
4. And (hopefully, I’ll keep you posted) you’re set!

ETA is tomorrow. If any banshee wails from the shores of Oakland can be heard ringing through the state of California tomorrow, that’ll be me.

• Tomorrow was yesterday, and I managed to collect my worldly possessions without too many hitches. Hint: memorise your US social security number. Also, plan what you’re going to do with the big-ass box that’s left behind once your stuff has been emptied out. My hasty plan was to convince 3 Mexicans to dispose of it for 50 bucks, before someone started living in it (this is downtown SF, it would happen within 10 minutes).